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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27658802">The deafening silence</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Salem_05/pseuds/Salem_05'>Salem_05</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>The deafening silence [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>DanPlan, actuallyoddplan</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Blood, Blood and Injury, Character Death, F/M, M/M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 21:43:29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,917</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27658802</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Salem_05/pseuds/Salem_05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Hosuh let's out an exhausted sigh, slumping against the stone wall behind him. The battle had taken alot out of him, all he wanted to do right now was curl up and go to sleep.</p><p>He's interrupted from his thoughts, however, by a slight gasp. Confusion on his face, he looked up to see Ivu staring straight forward above him at something.</p><p>The older male stands up, going to have a look at what she sees.</p><p>He freezes.</p><p>There's a figure walking through the dust, a figure all too familiar, cuts on his cheeks, blood on his lips, and worn, tired lilac eyes turned red from crying.</p><p>"Stephen-!" Hosuh goes to yell, but stops short.</p><p>He realises all too late that there's a body cradled in Stephen's arms, hair and face hidden from view by a blanket.</p><p>He doesn't need to ask to know whose it is.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Elias Lim/Gavin Ng, Gavin Ng &amp; Stephen Ng, Ivu | Zerinchii/Hosuh Lee, Jay Ko/Stephen Ng</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>The deafening silence [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2022428</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>21</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Prologue</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>As you can already tell by the tags and way too long summary, I've decided to kill a character off in a series that just started. So buckle up, it's gonna be a long and tragic ride. Also, feedback and constructive criticism is appreciated.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Hosuh let's out an exhausted sigh, slumping against the stone wall behind him. The battle had taken alot out of him, all he wanted to do right now was curl up and go to sleep.</p><p>He's interrupted from his thoughts, however, by a slight gasp. Confusion on his face, he looked up to see Ivu staring straight forward above him at something.</p><p>The older male stands up, going to have a look at what she sees.</p><p>He freezes.</p><p>There's a figure walking through the dust, a figure all too familiar, cuts on his cheeks, blood on his lips, and worn, tired lilac eyes turned red from crying.</p><p>"Stephen-!" Hosuh goes to yell, but stops short.</p><p>He realises all too late that there's a body cradled in Stephen's arms, hair and face hidden from view by a blanket.</p><p>He doesn't need to ask to know whose it is.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. The worst kind of pain</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Hosuh stared forward at Stephen for a couple minutes. The seconds dragged by agonisingly slow, making the atmosphere tense.</p><p>Suddenly, the purple haired male slowly walked over to the older male.</p><p>Hosuh stared at him in sympathy. He didn't need to lift up the blanket to see whose body it was, but he would still feel better having it confirmed.</p><p>He was met with the still form of what was once Gavin Ng.</p><p>Tears filled his blue eyes, and he placed a hand on Stephen's shoulder. The younger male stiffened, jaw clenched and eyes squeezed shut. Hosuh knew, just like him, Stephen was fighting the urge to cry.</p><p>Slowly, the others gathered around them, wrapping a comforting arm around the purple haired male, whispering comforting things into his ear and trying to make sure he was ok.</p><p>As they all broke apart, Stephen exhaled slowly, though the stress did not leave his body, and knelt down to lay his brother on the grass.</p><p>It was surreal, seeing the younger of the two siblings so still, so quiet. He was always the more expressive one, yelling everyone's ears off without meaning to. Stephen used to think it was annoying. Now he misses it.</p><p>In the back of his mind, he can still hear Gavin's obnoxious laughter ringing in his ears. See his shit-eating grin when he knows he's getting on someone's nerves, feel the warmth of his embrace when the world was cold and all they had was each other-</p><p>And he feels a soft hand slipping into his own. For a moment, he looks back, hoping to come face to face with those familiar lilac eyes, but instead is met with closed ones.</p><p>Jay squeezes his hand comfortingly. He doesn't squeeze too tight though, giving Stephen an escape if he wants it.</p><p>Stephen half smiles at the gesture. The blonde was always aware of other people's feelings and thoughts, even if he wasn't about his own. That was one of the things he loved about him.</p><p>Jay leans against his shoulder, briefly opening his eyes. Stephen stares into them, hoping the unusual eyes would make him feel a bit better.</p><p>Whenever there was a problem, he sought the blonde out, knowing he would listen, let the purple haired male rest his head on his lap as he hummed along to his ranting, running a comforting hand through his soft locks.</p><p>Stephen continued to look into his eyes, happy to not find a trace of pity in them. Good. He didn't want pity from Jay, from anyone. He wasn't sad. He was fine.</p><p>The blonde seemed to sense his thought process, squeezing his hand his hand again and whispering softly to him.</p><p>"It's ok to cry. I would understand. He's your brother."</p><p>Stephen took note of how Jay didn't use the past tense. Like Gavin was still here. Like he was standing right beside them, and not laid before them in the grass, the blood no longer running through his veins, making his heart beat.</p><p>Words couldn't describe the pain this brought him. He wanted to scream in anguish, beat himself until he was nothing but an empty husk, and join his brother in the afterlife.</p><p>For as long as he could remember, it had just been the two of them. Their parents passed when they were very young, the siblings only 2 and 4 years old. Gavin could barely speak yet, but God could he cry. Back then, he'd cried for hours, nothing being able to silence his cries, not even the gunshots and the screams and the yelling. It just made him louder.</p><p>Right now, it was deathly silent. In that period of their lives, Stephen would have prayed for it.</p><p>Now, it just made him sick.</p><p>Stephen let out a choked noise, halfway between a sob and a gasp.</p><p>The sound seemed to trigger something, taking him back to the past he'd been trying to block out for all these years.</p><p>------</p><p>A missile zoomed overhead, landing nearby and creating an explosion that sent pieces of dirt and gravel flying everywhere.</p><p>The sound made the blue haired boy sob, covering his ears. He didn't want to stay here anymore. Everything was too loud and scary and his parents weren't here to soothe him back to sleep anymore, they never would be, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever-</p><p>He let out a choked gasp and a sob as familiar arms wrapped around him. Stephen had come back from gathering supplies, rocking the younger back and forth and whispering random nonsense that he hoped would get through to the smaller. Words didn't matter, Gavin just needed to know he was here, that he wasn't alone, he never would be.</p><p>The blue haired boy whimpered and leaned into him, shoulders slumping as exhaustion took over him.</p><p>Stephen hushed him as the younger cried, planting a gentle kiss on top of his brother's head just like their mother used to do.</p><p>This seemed to calm him, his sobs getting quieter until they weren't there anymore.</p><p>The older pulled away once he knew Gavin was asleep, standing and slowly placing a blanket over his body.</p><p>"Goodnight Gavin..."</p><p>------</p><p>"Goodnight Gavin..." Stephen mumbled as he knelt down next to his brother's body, placing a gentle kiss to his too cold head.</p><p>Hosuh knelt next to him, placing a hand on his shoulder once again. Jay did the same, wrapping his arms around the purple haired male carefully.</p><p>The three of them stayed there for what seemed like hours, the wind whistling gently in their ears, making the soft blades of grass move slightly.</p><p>No words needed to be spoken between them. There was nothing left to be said. It had all been said as Gavin bled out in the field, choking on his own blood as Stephen screamed into the empty space, watching the only family he had left slip away from him.</p><p>Staring down at his brother's body, knowing this was the last time he'd ever look at him, the dam finally broke.</p><p>Stephen wailed and wept, gripping onto the grass beneath him as his friends comforted him to no avail.</p><p>There was a time when Stephen used to think falling over hurt the most.</p><p>Well he was wrong.</p><p>This was the worst kind of pain.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Broken promises</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Stephen struggles with recovery.</p><p>Both physically and emotionally.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Stephen awoke to the sound of birds chirping outside his window. He sat up, lilac eyes slowly fluttering open.</p><p>The sight outside his window was beautiful, grass a lovely green and the flowers many vibrant colours. It was like something out of a painting.</p><p>It made him sick.</p><p>How could the world continue to thrive after his brother had departed it? Gavin made the world brighter. Gavin brought colour to everything.</p><p>Now that he was gone, it was grey again.</p><p>He could only imagine what his brother would be saying if he was here, looking out at the view with him.</p><p>"It's rather pretty, isn't it?"</p><p>Stephen's head snapped around at the voice, and he felt his heart leap into his throat.</p><p>Gavin stared out at the landscape, smiling serenely at it. Hearing only silence in response, he turned to his brother, letting out a small chuckle at his shellshocked expression.</p><p>"What? You look like you've just seen a ghost."</p><p>Stephen shook his head, eyes widening even further as Gavin laughed more.</p><p>His face went from shocked to horrified in a heartbeat as blood started to drip from his brother's mouth, creating a pool of it on the wooden floor, dying it a crimson red.</p><p>The monster grabbed Stephen's cheeks, mimicking his brother's face as it loomed over him, a devilish grin that did not belong on Gavin's face forming quickly.</p><p>His heart stopped at the words it spat at him.</p><p>"You did this to me."</p><p>------</p><p>Stephen shot up with a cry.</p><p>Body shaking and breath trembling, he gave himself a couple minutes to process everything. It was just a nightmare, nothing but his mind trying to scare him (or hurt him).</p><p>Exhaling through his nose, Stephen slowly stood up, making his way into the rest of the house.</p><p>He saw Jay standing in the kitchen, chopping up some vegetables freshly picked from the garden.</p><p>He was still getting used to the house. After, all it wasn't his. He hadn't wanted to go back to his and Gavin's shared home after what had happened, too many memories of when times were somewhat simpler.</p><p>Biting back the urge to cry, Stephen walked over to Jay and wrapped his arms around his middle, almost laughing at the uncharacteristic yelp that the blonde let out.</p><p>"Stephen, what are you doing up so early? You shouldn't even be walking around, you still need to heal." The older male scolded.</p><p>"Didn't wanna go back to sleep..." The purple haired male mumbled into his neck.</p><p>There was silence for a while, then Jay sighed, turning in his gentle hold to face him, cupping his cheeks. "Had another nightmare?"</p><p>Stephen nodded slightly, humming in affirmation. The blonde's face softened at this, and he drew him into a gentle hug.</p><p>Stephen gripped the back of Jay's shirt, gritting his teeth as the tears rolled down his cheeks, somehow warm and cold at the same time.</p><p>The older male shushed him, running that same comforting hand through his hair. There were sweet nothings whispered into his ear, but Stephen only caught bits of it, like "I'm right here" or "You're ok".</p><p>He slumped in the blonde's arms, an overwhelming exhaustion overtaking him. He was vaguely aware of being carried back to his room.</p><p>------</p><p>He awoke again to the sound of hushed whispers outside his room. Looking around to make sure no nightmarish version of his brother was lurking in the dark, he quietly got up and pressed his ear to the door, trying to hear what was being said.</p><p>"I don't think we should bother him with it just yet, he might not even want to go..." Hosuh, Stephen realised with a small smile.</p><p>"Of course he'll want to go, Gavin is his brother." Jay, and Stephen once again noted that he was using present tense with his brother's name.</p><p>"I'm not on anyone's side here, but Hosuh has a point. It's only been a week, he might be overwhelmed by it." Daniel.</p><p>"There shouldn't even be a debate about this, he is going. End of discussion." Ann.</p><p>"So you're going to force him, now, are you?" Ivu.</p><p>"No, I'm with Ann, it wouldn't be the same without Stephen. They're brothers, for God's sakes." Elias.</p><p>Finally getting sick of just listening, Stephen opened his door, stepping out into his friends view.</p><p>They all ceased conversation, staring at him in expressions of guilt and shock.</p><p>"What were you all talking about?" The purple haired male spoke, voice barely above a whisper, but loud enough for them to understand him.</p><p>"W-Well-" Hosuh started, but Ivu cut him off, speaking instead. "We were talking about arrangements for Gavin's funeral and whether or not you should go."</p><p>Stephen froze up, bile rising in his throat. He swallowed it down. "Y...You were all deciding between you whether or not I should go?"</p><p>More silence. Stephen was getting sick of the silence.</p><p>"Well?" He pushed. "Answer me."</p><p>"Stephen," Jay said, placing a hand on his shoulder. "None of us get to make that decision, but we were just discussing-"</p><p>"Discussing going to my own brother's fucking funeral!?" Stephen snapped.</p><p>Jay flinched, stepping back slightly. "Stephen, you know we only want you to be happy-"</p><p>"Well, I'm not! I'll never be happy! You know why?! Because the only real family I had left is dead!" The purple haired male roared.</p><p>The six of them stood in stunned silence, the only semblance of sound being Stephen's heavy breathing.</p><p>With a scoff, Stephen turned on his heel and slammed the bedroom door closed behind him, sliding down the wood and fisting his hair in his hands.</p><p>He did end up going to the funeral in the end. But it was a bittersweet experience.</p><p>------</p><p>Stephen ventured further into the market place, glancing around for some food. It was the first day he had left the house since his brother's funeral. It felt good to get some fresh air for once.</p><p>As he went to pick up an apple from the stall, someone bumped into him. With a small huff, he turned to the person and froze in his tracks.</p><p>A little boy with black hair and lilac eyes stared back up at him, guilt on his face. "I'm so sorry, mister!"</p><p>It took a while for him to come to his senses, glancing away from those god damned eyes. "T-That's ok, kid."</p><p>The boy apologised once more, before running off into the crowd, most likely to find his mother.</p><p>Stephen paid for the apple with a solemn expression, walking away as his mind wandered back to the past again.</p><p>------</p><p>Gavin brought the bow up to his shoulder, pulling back the arrow. He exhaled slowly, eyes narrowing in concentration as he moved his bow slightly so that the arrow was facing the target.</p><p>He released it, but it didn't land in the middle. The blue haired boy let out a huff of frustration, throwing his bow to ground in defeat. "God damn it!"</p><p>"Throwing a tantrum over target practice again?" Stephen spoke behind him, leaning against the wall with an amused smirk at his brother's expense.</p><p>"Shut up! It's hard, ok?!" He whined, kicking a nearby rock into the target.</p><p>Stephen sighed, walking over to his brother, who was now banging his head against a tree. "Stop that. Come here."</p><p>Gavin huffed, letting Stephen drag him back toward the targets. The older of the two siblings picked up his bow from the ground, handing it back to the younger.</p><p>"You need to pull with your back, not your arm." Stephen instructed, positioning his brother's arms and body. "Also, your posture is all off. Stand up a bit straighter."</p><p>Gavin huffed. "This still won't work."</p><p>"Yes it will. Just be patient."</p><p>Rolling his eyes, the blue haired boy looked back at the target. Even though he knew it wasn't going to work, he thought he'd give it a shot anyway.</p><p>He let the arrow go, and it flew into the centre of the target, piercing the yellow spot in the middle.</p><p>Eyes widening, Gavin let out a cheer, jumping up and down in glee. "I did it! Did you see that, I did it!"</p><p>Stephen laughed slightly. "Yeah, I know. I saw it."</p><p>The younger continued to celebrate, running around the field like a maniac yelling about his victory.</p><p>A couple hours later he had completely worn himself out, collapsed against a tree in exhaustion.</p><p>He looked over slightly as he heard a sigh next to him. Stephen had sat next to him, leaning his head against the base of the tree.</p><p>Gavin smiled at him. "Thanks for helping me today. I probably would have burned our house down if I got it wrong again."</p><p>The older chuckled. "You would be the one paying for that, believe me." He replied, making the blue haired boy giggle in response.</p><p>They went quiet for a couple minutes, staring up at the sky as the sun slowly set, making the sky a beautiful blend of orange, red, and pink.</p><p>"Hey, Steph?" Gavin suddenly spoke up, glancing up at his older brother.</p><p>"Hm?" Stephen hummed in response, still staring at the sky.</p><p>"You'll always protect me, right? Help me if I need it?"</p><p>At this, Stephen turned back to his brother, smiling softly. "Of course. I'll always help you."</p><p>The younger smiled, hugging his brother close. The purple haired boy hugged back, whispering into his brother's ear.</p><p>"I'll never let anything bad happen to you."</p><p>Gavin pulled away, a challenging grin on his face. "Promise?" He held up his pinkie.</p><p>Stephen smiled, holding his up too and linking theirs together. "Promise."</p><p>That sweet moment was abruptly ended as Gavin shoved his brother and quickly got up to run, yelling out "Tag, you're it!"</p><p>Stephen rolled his eyes at the childish behaviour, but nevertheless got up to chase him, running after his brother until he inevitably tagged him back and the roles reversed.</p><p>------</p><p>Stephen barely even realised he'd stopped walking until he looked around and realised people were staring at him.</p><p>Covering his face from view by his hand, the purple haired male walked back home as fast as he could, not wanting to draw attention to himself.</p><p>And if Jay asked about the tears on his face, he would blame it on the rain.</p>
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